Frustration

That is the only title I can think of for this post.
It has been months since I have made a post, and I was not sure if I would ever make a new post. Everything was clicking along perfectly or as good as I could ever expect it to.
Saturday morning, March 19th started out perfect as well. Nice weather enticed me to de-winterize the lawn mower and knock down the weed tops in our yard for the first mow of the season. After I finished, I enjoyed sitting on the porch and admiring my work with the dog laying beside me. The day was perfect.
The boys came home from their activities so we decided to set up the ping pong table and play some games. The entire family was enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon. Cara was in the driveway painting her nails. The dog was exploring the yard and me and the boys were playing ping pong.
I am still not sure how it happenned, but I went for a shot that I guess I should not have. My left leg popped and I went to the ground in excrutiating pain. As I laid on the ground I tried to decide if I could get up and get in the car, but there was no way. We ended up calling an ambulance to pick me up and take me to the hospital.
The x-rays revealed that I had broken my femur just above the knee. It was a clean break, but it required surgery the next day. This was a devastating blow. We all knew what this meant. Back on crutches for several weeks.
The surgery went fine and I was discharged from the hospital that Monday afternoon. I stayed home for the rest of the week, but I returned to work the following week.
I went back to the doctor on April 1st to get the staples removed and to get x-rays to check the fracture and the newly inserted rod.
The pain has been steadily decreasing and I am getting along fine on the crutches. We went to the lake, I mowed the yard again and things are normalizing. However, there is still a significant annoyance. I frustration that I just can't get past. There is a screw close to the knee that is very large. It protrudes through the bone and close to the skin. Before the swelling went down, it just seemed like a tender spot, but now it is a noticable protrusion that is irritating to touch or brush against.
My frustrations are built up over past experience and knowing the solution. The solution is to simply remove the hardware after the bone has healed. This sounds simple enough, but there are two key factors to consider. The first factor is that it is an elective surgery and it will be costly. The second factor is that it will put me back on crutches yet again for a significant amount of time.
I guess my goal is to try to forget about this screw and go on with lift. My problem is that it causes me to realize that this is likely the result of my previous injuries and a reminder that my life will never be what I want it to be.

No matter how much I smile when I tell people this is just another bump in the road or hurdle to get past, the reality is that I am extremely frustrated with the entire situation.

The last trip to Dr. Norris in Tulsa

Today was the last time that I should see Dr. Norris in Tulsa. It marks the one year anniversary of the major hip surgery. He told me that the hip joint itself appears to have healed. The lack of movement, rotation and the irritation is the result of the scar tissue and heterotopic bone growth interfering with the muscle, but the joint looks good. He was disappointed in the nerve decompression results, but it was not a guarantee in the first place. The trauma portion of my accident is officially over.
Life is all but normal now. I have very few restrictions and have even returned to the Air Force Reserve - even if it is a temporary status.
Work is keeping me busy and my travel schedule has picked up dramatically.
Cara and the boys are doing well.
We really enjoyed hosting the family for Thanksgiving again this year. Winter is setting in as we look forward to Christmas.
Cara and I are excited to be taking a vacation to Belize in January. It will be our first real get away for just the two of us since the accident and it is well overdue.
After we return from Belize, thoughts of going to the lake will begin to dominate.

I saw a sign on a church today that stood out for me. "The only attitude that we need is gratitude" I am thankful everyday for the second chance.

J.

Sky Ski

Anyone who knows me and my family knows that we live for the lake. I have tried to get bak up on ski a couple of times and it just does not look like it is going to work out right now. Some of you know that I was curious about trying an Air Chair or Sky Ski. These are hydrofoils that you sit on. There is basically a board similar to a wakeboard with a raised seat. A hydrofoil extends below the board about 3 feet. Last Saturday, I asked the Pollards at the marina if they knew anyone who had one and they did. We met Mike and Connie and Mike offered to pull me up Sunday morning. It was unusual at first and I certainly need more practice, but it was awesome! Mike let us borrow the Sky Ski for the rest of the day and I got up on it a couple more times. It takes the legs out of the equation and allows me to ski again. You could say that this was just about the last piece of the puzzle for me to say things are completely normal again. We are certainly putting the Sky Ski on the shopping list and want to say a special than you to Mike and Connie.
The last piece of the puzzle would be the Air Force Reserves. I would really like to at least finish my last 5 years...

It has been 2 years today

All,
Two years ago my life was turned upside down. Hundreds of family members and friends prayed for my survival and recovery. The doctors said it could take between one to two years to recover. I can tell you that it has taken every bit of those two years. A good portion of the time was challenging and I am certain that the prayers and support helped me get through. I have questioned some of my doctors' decisions. I felt impatient many times. I tried as hard as I could to keep a positive outlook, but I admit there were times where I sank into self-pity.

Currently, I occaisionaly take Nuerontin, but other than that I am prescription free. I am walking without crutches or a cane and I sense I am getting faster and more sure footed every day. I was released to full work status a couple of months ago - meaning I could travel to plants which is a major part of my job. I am continuing to go out more and do more things that I used to, but had stopped due to discomfort.

I can say that overall I have made an incredible recovery. I never want to say that I am lucky. I prefer to say my life was in other hands and they lifted me up. With that I want to continue to thank everyone who was there for me.

Life is not perfect. There are three major issues that prevent a 100% recovery.
1. Drop Foot - the drop foot persists and it is difficult to walk without the aid of the AFO. I recently purchased my first pair of odd sized shoes as I realize this is the way it is going to be.
2. No knee cap - The removal of the patella greatly weakens the knee joint particularly in leg extension. What this does to my walking is prevent me from putting full weight on my leg as the knee bends. I should resume going to the gym to strenghten the muscles in the knee, but the doctor told us from the beginning that it would never be as strong.
3. Arthritis in the left hip - The trauma to my left hip was beyond severe. It is nothing less than amazing that I did not lose it. At this point, the bone has mostly healed, but arthritis will remain and continue to get worse. My instructions are to endure the discomfort as long as I can to postpone the inevitable hip replacement.

Basically, I think I have fully healed in these past two years. I doubt I will ever say that I am fully recovered.

I will always remember July 29th and consider it like a birthday. Most people do not get to the hospital in time to survive an aortic tear. God looked over me two years ago and gave me a second chance. For that I will be eternally grateful.

Thank you all for being with me,
J.

I tried to ski last Saturday!

As usual, I am late with updated posts.
I should start this one with my graduation party on June 12th. I woke up and decided not to use the cane ever again. We had a great time at the party and I have not looked back. The cane is in my bathroom untouched. My most recent trip to Tulsa last Tuesday to see Dr. Norris resulted in mostly positive news. The only questionable news was that there is still a section of the hip that has not completely healed. He says it is in one of the locations where they cut the bone. All other areas have healed and he attributes most of the healing to the bone growth stimulator. While there has not been any significant changes in the drop foot, he said he thought he could feel a flicker where the tendon tries to activate the muscle when I try to pull up my foot. This is certainly a sign that the nerves are healing and I may get some control back. While I was there, I asked him if I could try to ski. He replied "I do not see why not." While I have been accused of not following doctors' orders all the time, I took this order and put it in action last Saturday. I did not get up, but I got close. My left knee tried to bend further than tolerable so I had to let go of the handle. The next plan of action is to use the lock out knee brace for the next attempt. This knee brace can be set where the knee is not allowed to bend past a certain pre-determined degrees. I will set it at 90 and try again soon.
We are closing in on the two year anniversary of the wreck. They said it could take 1 to 2 years before I felt mostly recovered. I would say that they were right. I will never be 100%, but I am pretty close. All normal activities have been resumed. My stamina is considerably higher than it has been since before the wreck. The left hip and knee will always be an issue, but I am not slowing down.
Work has been very busy and with my full release to visit plants, I have been on the road again.

Life is good

All,
It has been over a month since my last post. A lot has hapenned in this past month so I do not really know where to start.
My previous post announced an up-coming surgery. The nerve de-compression surgery was performed last Friday and as expected, it went very well. Dr. Norris called it a success. We will not know the real results right away because it still takes a long time for nerves to heal, but it is still positive to think that the paraneal nerve may not be permanently damaged. Now, the test of time will tell the progress.
Speaking of progress, I feel better than I have since the wreck. Work has released me to full status and I have gone on three site visits since the release. It feels great to be back in the game and doing what I am supposed to do.
Last Saturday was graduation at the University of Arkansas. I completed my Master of Science in Operations Management through the college of Industrial Engineering. This is a milestone that I have wanted to complete for a long time. I am nothing less that proud and happy to reach this accomplishment and look forward to wearing an alumni shirt with pride.
Allen has entered the workforce. A few weeks ago he started working at Hardees and is doing a great job. We were lucky to pick up a car from a co-worker and he is back on the road. Riding the bus to school for a month and a half was a real eye opener for him and he has a new appreciation of work and transportation. We are extremely proud of him!
Of course we are getting lake fever. Allen's new job is going to present new challenges and tough decisions regarding lake weekends. We will see how this transition goes.
Sam is doing well in school, but seems to be looking for attention that does not please the teachers - particularly substitute teachers. I hope that Cara's recent talk with him will sink in the importance of respect to his teachers as well as fellow students.
Cara is still working very hard. It is hard to call her practice new anymore. We are optimistic that the bugs keeping her from getting paid by Medicare will be worked out soon.
I enjoyed going to Fort Smith yesterday to see my mom and dad. It was the first time for me to see my mom since her surgery on her broken femur. She looked very good and seems to be healing well. I learned that my dad has scheduled his retirement. This is a huge milestone for him that he swears he is looking forward to, but I still do not see him retiring.
That is about all for now. I need to schedule a two week follow up appointment to get the staples removed and to learn more about my prognosis. It should be all good news from here on out.
Still no word from the Air Force. My hopes for returning to service continue to dim.
J.

Good News! More Surgery

When does more surgery mean good news? I will do my best to explain it.
Last Tuesday, Cara and I made the trek back to Tulsa to see Dr. Norris. I was particularly nervous about this visit. After hearing the EMG on the peroneal nerve resulted in un-recoverable damage and physically feeling tenderness in my hip, I could not anticipate any positive news.
With respect to the hip. Dr. Norris could see new bone growth in the new x-rays. My tenderness is worst in the morning when I wake up and gradually gets better throughout the day. This is typical for hip joint arthritis and I should expect this until I can't bear it any longer and get a hip replacement. If the tenderness increased throughout the day, it would indicate that the bone still was not healing. Therefore, the Exogen bone stimulator is actually working and I am to continue to use it.
With respect to my nerve damage. Dr. Norris had a plan this entire time. He wanted to schedule the EMG close to my follow up visit so he would know where the damage was. During the visit, he physically showed it to me under my left knee. He said the nerve has excessive pressure on it due to pulling through the scar tissue and this pressure prevents it from sending the correct signals to my ankle and foot. He recommends a nerve de-compression surgery to try to relieve this pressure. I stopped him when he mentioned surgery, but he explained that the nerve is very close to the surface and the procedure would be very easy and most likely out-patient. I will not have any load bearing restrictions and I will be able to return to work immediately. The surgery cannot do any more harm and it will likely relieve the nerve pains and possible improve motor function in my foot. It is scheduled for May 7th.
Overall, we were very pleased with the trip and the news. I am cautiously optimistic. It will still take time for the nerve to come back, but at least there is a chance.
J.